How to teach kids to honor their parents well

By Fred Pry, Op-ed contributor Friday, May 09, 2025

Mother’s Day can hold all kinds of emotions. For some of us, it’s a joyful day, and we give loving sentiments to our parents and receive them from children. For others of us, it’s a hard day because a relationship with a child or parent is difficult, or we’ve lost a child or parent. Even mention of the day can pour salt into a wound.

Today, I encouraged you to do two things:

First, process your own feelings about the day before the throne of grace. Before you go out and “do the right thing” or fall apart when you least expect it, take time to talk to God about what you’re feeling and receive His comfort and direction. Even if you expect it to be a good day, you’ll want to receive His counsel on how to give or receive honor.

Second, plan how to instruct the kids in your life regarding this day. If you are married, and these special days in the past have been disappointing, kindly ask your spouse to help instruct the children for you. If you are not married, you might want to ask a friend to put an idea in the ear of your children. Look around and notice your single-parent friends and help their children know what to do. Kids need instruction in every area of life, including showing honor. They might hear of the day and be aware, but they are children, so they forget, and need help from the other parent or a friend to be prepared.

Teach them that words of encouragement are the best gift, so a handmade card made the day before would be really treasured. Remind them what day it is first thing in the morning, since they may not have other means of remembering, and it’s fun to make a big deal in the morning regarding the special day and parent.

Some mothers are going to be completely forgotten on this special Sunday. They will knock themselves out by getting kids to church or running errands, while not having had any recognition that morning. Teach kids to focus on gratitude and affirmation. Gratitude is the easiest one because kids should be able to think of all the things their mother does for them, list as many as possible, and thank their mothers for doing them. After pondering all these things that mom does for them, the second part — affirmation — becomes easier. Help kids think about what kind of character qualities a person would have in order to do all those things.

Help kids say thank you for exhibiting those specific character qualities. This is a really important step. Although no mom would be disappointed to hear that her child thinks she’s pretty and gives good gifts, affirmation should be focused on character. Character is the result of godly choices, and we all need to learn to affirm godly character in others.

Showing honor to mothers isn’t just something that should be done for the sake of a mom; it’s something that should be done for the sake of children. God promises children that if they honor their parents, God will give them a special blessing (Exodus 20:12). As the parent, it can feel awkward to tell a child, “Honor me, because God commands you to do it.” After all, we want to demonstrate humility, not set an example of someone who seeks honor. So, the best approach is to help children see you honoring YOUR parents. Tell them what you are doing and why. If they’re old enough, you could add information about why it might be hard for you to do this, but how you are choosing to act in obedience to God’s instruction and in faith to God’s promise.

Explain that no parent on this earth is perfect, but they should be honored anyway. This is setting an example of grace. There are situations where a parent is unhealthy relationally, but there are still ways to show honor and explain to your children what you are doing. And that brings me back to my original encouragement, which is to spend time with God seeking his comfort and counsel on how to handle Mother’s Day.

These special days are an opportunity to help us focus on teaching kids how to honor their parents well. Let’s not waste this opportunity.

Fred Pry is the Acting Vice President of Administration at Child Evangelism Fellowship (CEF), the most impactful child evangelism ministry in the world, reaching over 25 million children with its face-to-face ministry in 2023. Fred joined CEF in 2003 as director of a local chapter in Pennsylvania before being appointed state director of Virginia. Later, he was invited to lead USA Ministries, and since 2024 he has been serving in the role of Vice President of Administration and providing further leadership to the organization as one of CEF’s executive staff.