Does God love misfit moms?

Like most people, I had dreamed of a happy, fulfilling life where every plan fell into place, and each choice led to success and joy. But at age 36, my life was the opposite. I was raising seven children and working full time as a pediatric nurse as my third marriage hung on by a thread. Virtually every piece of my life was messy or broken.

When Mother’s Day arrived in 2006, I had been a mother for 18 years. My youngest was just about to start preschool, and I felt the promise of a taste of freedom — of a life that was mine again, before motherhood had taken over. After almost two decades of parenting, a little space to breathe sounded like bliss.

Four months later, I was shocked to discover that baby number eight was on the way. I never intended to end up there, at the end of my third marriage and the beginning of my eighth pregnancy. How could I welcome another innocent victim into the chaos of my messy life?

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My Christian faith had withered to almost nothing, but maybe this baby would be the miracle that turned things around. Maybe a new baby would signal the start of a joyful season, a beautiful new beginning. So, I was heartbroken when my sweet baby Jade was born with extraordinary medical needs. My dreams of a fresh start were replaced by a harsh new reality: Jade needed me in order to stay alive. All day. Every day. There would be no breaks. No reprieves. And definitely no space to breathe.

After weeks of consultations with pediatric specialists, an MRI finally revealed that Jade had a fatal brain abnormality. Crushed by this revelation and its dark promise of a short lifespan, I felt completely alone in my pain. Where was God? Why did He allow this? Why had He abandoned me and Jade? Eventually, my anger and despair became so overwhelming that I made a plan to end my own life. Little did I know that God had already set a plan in motion to save Jade’s life — and mine.

I’m not the first person to feel overwhelmed by life’s unexpected turns. For some of us, it’s a bleak diagnosis or the heartbreak of a broken relationship. For others, it’s the loss of a much-needed job or the family home. But for those whose hearts are far from God, the pain of loss can feel all the more intense.

When Jade was born, my faith in God, if it even still existed, was lukewarm at best. Faith was something I turned to when it was convenient or I needed something. The words of Romans 8:28 hung on my living room wall: “In all things God works for the good of those who love Him.” Those words felt like a hollow sentiment as I labored around the clock for months to keep my baby alive. Yet the truth of that promise was about to be revealed.

Even as my faith was failing, God was working out things for my good. Other people still believed that God could heal Jade — especially my cousin Rich and his Christian biker gang. And in dramatic and definitive fashion, God did what only He can do. 

He completely healed Jade’s brain.

Jade, who wasn’t supposed to see her third birthday, turned 18 last month. To mark the occasion, I published a book, Jewel of Heaven, that celebrates her miraculous healing and her beautiful life. To this day, Jade’s pediatric neurologist says her healing cannot be explained from a medical perspective. It has been called a “bona fide miracle” by one neurosurgeon.

Thanks to Jade’s life, God’s mercy, and years of personal healing and growth, I have found my “messy self” renewed. No longer am I the angry, lost woman and mother I had been. I have discovered that redemption isn’t found in having it all together or making perfect choices. It isn’t about avoiding the mess. Redemption is simply surrendering our mess to God and letting Him transform it into something beautiful and miraculous.

The truth is that no one — no matter how messy or broken — is beyond the reach of God’s powerful love.

My story didn’t end with me getting it all together or achieving the perfect life I once dreamed of. It has taken 18 years of intensive effort for Jade to reach the milestones of a typical 10-year-old. And I am still rebuilding relationships with loved ones I hurt before I was redeemed through Jesus Christ. But my story does end with a deeper, more powerful faith — a faith that is rooted not in perfection but in God’s unrelenting love, grace, and ability to bring beauty from ashes.

God’s love is not just for the perfect, the put-together, or the flawless. It is for the broken, the messy, the misfits who have lost their way. Through our messes, God can do the miraculous. Through our brokenness, He can create something new. No one is beyond His love, and no situation is too far gone for His redemptive power.

Like most people, I had dreamed of a happy, fulfilling life where every plan fell into place, and each choice led to success and joy. But at age 36, my life was the opposite. I was raising seven children and working full time as a pediatric nurse as my third marriage hung on by a thread. Virtually every piece of my life was messy or broken.

When Mother’s Day arrived in 2006, I had been a mother for 18 years. My youngest was just about to start preschool, and I felt the promise of a taste of freedom — of a life that was mine again, before motherhood had taken over. After almost two decades of parenting, a little space to breathe sounded like bliss.

Four months later, I was shocked to discover that baby number eight was on the way. I never intended to end up there, at the end of my third marriage and the beginning of my eighth pregnancy. How could I welcome another innocent victim into the chaos of my messy life?

Get Our Latest News for FREE

Subscribe to get daily/weekly email with the top stories (plus special offers!) from The Christian Post. Be the first to know.

My Christian faith had withered to almost nothing, but maybe this baby would be the miracle that turned things around. Maybe a new baby would signal the start of a joyful season, a beautiful new beginning. So, I was heartbroken when my sweet baby Jade was born with extraordinary medical needs. My dreams of a fresh start were replaced by a harsh new reality: Jade needed me in order to stay alive. All day. Every day. There would be no breaks. No reprieves. And definitely no space to breathe.

After weeks of consultations with pediatric specialists, an MRI finally revealed that Jade had a fatal brain abnormality. Crushed by this revelation and its dark promise of a short lifespan, I felt completely alone in my pain. Where was God? Why did He allow this? Why had He abandoned me and Jade? Eventually, my anger and despair became so overwhelming that I made a plan to end my own life. Little did I know that God had already set a plan in motion to save Jade’s life — and mine.

I’m not the first person to feel overwhelmed by life’s unexpected turns. For some of us, it’s a bleak diagnosis or the heartbreak of a broken relationship. For others, it’s the loss of a much-needed job or the family home. But for those whose hearts are far from God, the pain of loss can feel all the more intense.

When Jade was born, my faith in God, if it even still existed, was lukewarm at best. Faith was something I turned to when it was convenient or I needed something. The words of Romans 8:28 hung on my living room wall: “In all things God works for the good of those who love Him.” Those words felt like a hollow sentiment as I labored around the clock for months to keep my baby alive. Yet the truth of that promise was about to be revealed.

Even as my faith was failing, God was working out things for my good. Other people still believed that God could heal Jade — especially my cousin Rich and his Christian biker gang. And in dramatic and definitive fashion, God did what only He can do. 

He completely healed Jade’s brain.

Jade, who wasn’t supposed to see her third birthday, turned 18 last month. To mark the occasion, I published a book, Jewel of Heaven, that celebrates her miraculous healing and her beautiful life. To this day, Jade’s pediatric neurologist says her healing cannot be explained from a medical perspective. It has been called a “bona fide miracle” by one neurosurgeon.

Thanks to Jade’s life, God’s mercy, and years of personal healing and growth, I have found my “messy self” renewed. No longer am I the angry, lost woman and mother I had been. I have discovered that redemption isn’t found in having it all together or making perfect choices. It isn’t about avoiding the mess. Redemption is simply surrendering our mess to God and letting Him transform it into something beautiful and miraculous.

The truth is that no one — no matter how messy or broken — is beyond the reach of God’s powerful love.

My story didn’t end with me getting it all together or achieving the perfect life I once dreamed of. It has taken 18 years of intensive effort for Jade to reach the milestones of a typical 10-year-old. And I am still rebuilding relationships with loved ones I hurt before I was redeemed through Jesus Christ. But my story does end with a deeper, more powerful faith — a faith that is rooted not in perfection but in God’s unrelenting love, grace, and ability to bring beauty from ashes.

God’s love is not just for the perfect, the put-together, or the flawless. It is for the broken, the messy, the misfits who have lost their way. Through our messes, God can do the miraculous. Through our brokenness, He can create something new. No one is beyond His love, and no situation is too far gone for His redemptive power.